"it" just moved
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
