I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
