Me too!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
