tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
