Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize