Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
