When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
