I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
