What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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