It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
