So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
