THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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