I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
