let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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