i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've blown a few things in my day
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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