btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
