But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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