You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
