if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
