K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
