I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
