Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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