The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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