I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
