my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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