I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
