Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
