dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
