She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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