apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
