Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
