I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
