Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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