I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
