he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
