i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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