Where did you get a picture of my penis
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
