I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
