you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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