So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
