I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
