There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
