Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
