I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
