I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
