i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
