Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
