Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
