I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
