He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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