If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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