Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize