the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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