Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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