His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
