Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
